Everyone goes into recruitment searching for something different, whether that is friendship, leadership opportunities, mentorship or something else. Because everyone’s “why” is different, the right chapter will be different too. There is no such thing as a better or worse sorority; there is only the sorority that is for you. Everyone will tell you to “be confident” and “be yourself”, but what does that really look like? We’re going to break down tips on how to boost your confidence before recruitment so that you can show up authentically yourself!
The Confidence Myth
There is a myth about confidence that only one type of person can have it. But confidence means many things, and it can manifest in many ways. You can be confident and be quiet or loud. Confident and bold or easy-going. It does NOT have to mean that you are who you want to be, you excel at everything, or even that you know what you want. It is very simply being comfortable with where you are at and knowing that it is always subject to change.
Knowing Your Values
The National Panhellenic Conference sororities are values-based organizations, meaning each is bound by a unique set of values. Many universities have a recruitment round dedicated to discussing values. One way to feel more confident throughout recruitment is to pinpoint your values. I remember taking a values quiz before recruitment. As I read through the options and compared things I had never put in competition before, I realized all the ways I saw those values in my life. I began to think about how my values shaped me and how I used them in my everyday interactions. Not only did it give me something to talk about and reinforce positive memories about my life experiences, it also helped clear up what I was looking for in a sorority. That was one way I built my confidence leading up to recruitment.
Knowing How to Talk About Yourself
Throughout recruitment, and life, you’re going to hear “Tell me about yourself”. It can be hard to talk about yourself. For many women, we are told that it is rude or unbecoming to talk about our achievements, goals and what matters most to us. But during recruitment, the women you are talking to need to get to know you, and they can only learn what you tell them. This is the time to learn that it’s okay – if not recommended, to take pride in the things you have done. Knowing who you are makes talking about yourself so much easier. Being confident in who you are, your values, and how you present those will be the key in guiding the conversation in a meaningful way.
Why do you care about the things you care about? What brings you joy? Who do you look up to and strive to become? How do you face hardship? How do you celebrate success? These are all questions you can ask yourself before recruitment. Whether they get brought up or not, knowing these answers can help you have deeper conversations that will help to reveal your character. You also don’t always need to wait to be asked in order to share something. The conversation goes both ways, so if there’s something you want to talk about, talk about it!
Knowing Your Strengths
Your strengths are what you are best at and what you enjoy doing. Knowing your strengths gives you something to be proud of. If your strength is being a good listener, ask questions and show interest. People love being heard, and most people love to share their own stories. If your strength is making people laugh, don’t be afraid to crack a joke or make a TikTok reference. The right people will get it and you can share endless laughs with them. If your strength is your passion for a hobby or a specific interest, share it! Passion can be felt from a mile away. It is such a beautiful thing to see someone spark up about a topic, even when you might not know anything about it. You might even find more similarities than you think with people you never expect. If you find strength in the way you dress, don’t change it. Whatever you feel comfortable in will allow you to be more yourself. It can often be a great conversation starter and allow you to share more of your story.
Knowing your strengths and playing them up will help you lead with confidence during recruitment.
Knowing where you can grow
The difference between ego and confidence is knowing that you still have room to grow. The most confident people are hungry for growth. They want to keep getting better, and every step toward that grows their confidence. It is easy to put other women on a pedestal during recruitment, but even the most confident women on the outside have insecurities, weaknesses and ways they want to grow. Nobody is perfect and no one expects you to be. Our flaws are what make us human. Sometimes our flaws are even what bond us together. Perfect is not relatable. Flaws are. Don’t feel the need to lie about any of your flaws.
Having an idea of how you want to grow is especially important when going through recruitment, so you can find women who embody the woman you strive to become. For example, if in high school you felt like you didn’t put yourself out there enough and want to change that in college, share that with the women you are talking to. Whether you prioritize a sorority that will break you out of your comfort zone socially, enhance who you are, explore different sides of yourself or push you to your professional best, all play a role in finding the right sorority for you.
Knowing College is a Place of Change
How can you grow without change? That uncomfortable tension between the present and the future is change. It is inevitable, often confusing, but it usually leads to growth. Graduating high school. Coming to college. Living on your own. Joining a sorority. Switching majors. Getting a job. These are all huge life changes that you might be going through right now or will in the future. While these changes present new opportunities, friends and hope, many of them do come with growing pains.
One thing that surprised me during recruitment was how exhausting it can be. Even as the biggest extrovert I know, the recruitment process was tough. The hours were long, conversations blended together, names were getting forgotten and my voice was already gone by the second day. However, the fact that recruitment was a lot didn’t mean that sorority life wasn’t for me. If anything, it made my process even clearer. The place I now call home was where the conversations rejuvenated me and the sisters made me feel at home. For me the process was just one of the growing pains of finding my forever home and family.
Wherever you end up is where you are meant to be. If you show up as yourself, you will leave as yourself but better. If believing can get you half way there, confidence can get you 75%. While it sounds easier said than done, if you have an identity, strengths and weaknesses – which you do – then you have everything it takes to be confident. Confidence is truly the key not only to recruitment, but to life.
